Something kinda funny
by Eevee
Summary: Jari-tachi are back in Pallet, Team Rocket has a new plan to catch Pikachu, and Ash and Gary learns something they'd rather not know about their parents. [Unfinished]
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Everything here is copyright to other people, like Nintendo, not me.  
Notes: Not really, but if you bother to read it all, I'd be really happy if you also bothered to tell me your honest opinion.  
Rating: I just realized how funny rating is... PG-13 for future chapters, anyway.  
  
********  
  
Three dark figures, two tall and one small, jumped down from the high brick wall and landed silently in the grass beneath it, one of them clutching a pokèball tightly in his hands.  
"Yes!" the other one cheered under her breath and high-fived her smaller companion, as the one with the pokèball threw it forward, and a furry creature formed from the white beam.  
"Grow?"  
"Growlie, it's me!"  
The Growlithe cooked its head, looking at the black-clad man quizzically.  
"Me, James!" he pulled the elastic from his hair, and the blue locks fell down around his face. The pokèmon's face lit up and he lunged at James, knocking him to the ground as it licked his face.  
Meowth peered over at him, laughing happily and looking like a five-year old under the overjoyed Growly, and then turned the Jesse.  
"K-9, check."  
She mirrored his smirk.  
  
Ash Ketchum whistled a happy tune as he walked down Route 1 from Viridian, approaching Pallet Town.  
"...oh when the saints come marching...." Brock joined in, "Ow! Misty, that hurt!" both he and Ash had received a smack with her paper fan, and she just stuck her nose in the air and marched past them. Ash made a face, and then caught up with her.  
"Ooooh, I waaaant to be in that numbeeeer..." he bellowed into her ear. Brock sighed and looked at his watch.   
  
"No! No, absolutely, no!" James yelled and backed away to find Jessie between him and the door. He tried to push her aside a couple of times, but at last gave up and bolted for the window, receiving a painful furyswipe before he found himself hyperventilating and desperately wishing for a quick death in the middle of the floor.  
"Try having a little team spirit." Meowht suggested.  
"But... but..." he yelped as they approached him from both sides. He briefly considered yelling for Growly, but then remembered that his beloved pokèmon currently was in his pokèball which was placed on a very high shelf on the opposite wall, and instead tried to dive under the bed, which failed miserably.  
"James, you are the only one that can possible do this. Your hair is right, and you seem to have an astonishing talent of attracting other men." Jessie told him and pushed him over to the chair in front of the mirror.  
"But he isn't..."  
"You're not going as yourself."  
Meowth pointed over at a costume from one of the countless failed Pika-swipe attempts, and James suddenly realized that not only did he so indeed have the right hair... but also that the chance of getting to wear one of those long, gorgeous dresses that he just loved was like zero while taking this role.  
  
Brock's face lit up as he saw the three houses of Pallet Town come into vision and he took a good grab of the pokèmon master to be, yanking him away from Misty and pushing him in front of himself.  
"Look! We're almost there!"  
Ash cheered and started running with Misty speeding up as well, and Brock followed in a more modest speed, smiling at the thought of Mrs. Ketchum, Mrs. Ketchum's well-equipped kitchen, Mrs. Ketchum, Mrs. Ketchum's lingerie drawer (he had discovered it during his last stay there), Mrs. Ketchum, Professor Oak's granddaughter, and Ash being occupied with other things than Misty. Three weeks lost in Viridian forest without anybody to battle, zero interesting pokèmon to catch and, oddly enough, no Team Rocket attacks, had made the younger kids starting to take out their frustration on each other, and Brock had developed a nasty migraine that set in every time the voice of one of them rose above a certain amount of decibel. The last two hours had been hell. "Oh when the Saints" lost its charm when you weren't allowed to sing along and had to listen to somebody else yell it at a third person. Especially somebody who's voice that lately had gotten a nasty tendency to crack when pushed too high.   
  
Things didn't really turn out the way Misty had hoped. Mrs. Ketchum's house was empty and locked, which meant she had to wait even longer to get a shower. Then Ash had decided she was most likely at Professor Oak's lab.   
Once there, they had found Gary, Tracey, and May, Gary's sister, all of them occupied with shuffling dung out from the Ponyta stable at Professor Oak's order, and all of them, Gary the most, looking none too pleased with the situation. Then, of course, Ash and Brock had starting cooing over May, who had looked a bit confused on them, Brock in particular, Tracey and Gary had scowled, and then May had stepped back taking Tracey's hand, to which Gary scowled again, but still had told Brock to 'keep his hands of his sister'. When the confusion about that matter was cleared out Ash had wanted to go find his mother and Professor Oak, and Tracey had told him that they were discussing something in private, Gary had gotten a look of horror by a sudden realization, May had looked even more confused and Brock claimed to be a bit nauseated.  
And after that the conversation had more or less centered about May. What was of a conversation, anyway, which wasn't anything impressing. Tracey lapsed into cheesy grins every time he looked at her, Ash was telling her about his journey and blushed whenever she complimented him, Brock... well, Brock only blushed, and Gary obviously adored his sister as well, so none of them as much as looked at Misty.  
What a bitch. She didn't train... heck, she didn't even have any pokèmon. She wasn't all that smart, straight out dense sometimes, she didn't seem to talk much out herself, only nodding and cooing over what the others said... and it wasn't like she was all that...   
Misty sighed. May was pretty. May was very pretty indeed. And Misty HATED to be ignored like that, even if she didn't have any particular interest in any of the ones ignoring her.  
  
Later that evening, after Mrs. Ketchum had announced that everybody was invited home to them for dinner to celebrate that Ash was home again and Professor Oak kindly had went beforehand with her, offering to help with the cooking so "you kids can catch up" (Brock, Tracey, Gary and Misty had exchanged a quite uncomfortable glance at this while Ash and May obliviously watched), they were now walking through Pallet Town.  
It was a quite night, and nobody said much, before an Officer Jenny shot out from the bushes beside the road.  
"Hi!" she said and looked Brock straight in the eyes.  
"Uh..."  
"Wow! Is it really a police station here in Pallet town too?!" Ash asked and looked at her. Officer Jenny glared at him and slid an arm around Brock's shoulders and took of into a smaller road, which soon led to a shabby hut where a smiling Nurse Joy stood waiting for them.  
"Our first guests!" she said as she clasped her hands together and her eyes started to spark, but Brock didn't even notice her. Officer Jenny walked over to her.  
"Welcome to the newly build Police station/Pokèmon center of Pallet Town!" she and Joy cheered and struck a pose as confetti started falling over them.  
"That's... nice..." Tracey said when the silence had fallen over the little group. Brock was too busy gawking on Jenny to speak, and everybody else looked puzzled at them.   
When nobody said anything more Misty started to move.  
"So..." she said slowly, "I guess we should go..."  
"Oh, please no!" Jenny cried and ran over to Brock again, "Let me enjoy the company of such a... handsome young man some more..." she said and kissed his cheek, to which a grunt erupted from his throat.  
"I REALLY think we should go." Misty said through clenched teeth and took his ear and dragged him away, the other ones following them silently.  
As soon as the little assemble left the road Officer Jenny turned to Nurse Joy, who had started filing her nails.  
"Jesse! Couldn't you at least let me take the one with a girlfriend? This way we aren't ruining anybody's life but mine!"  
"Oh, shut up." She snapped, "This is just as bad for me as for you. And somebody's life WILL become miserable after this..."   
  
To be continued  
  
********  
  
Ooooh... evil plots! And I'm not really into youngstershipping (Tracey/May) either. I just thought I'd get our dear pokèmon watcher out of the way. Yaaah. Review, and I'll love you forever ^^. 


	2. part 2

  
Now we got a title too! Enjoy it, people! It is, by the way, a song title belonging Spice Girls, the love of my pre-teens. The song itself doesn't have anything to do with this story, but I couldn't come up with anything else to name it, and... well, it IS a bit weird... but that is what hours of listening to "Disney's greatest hits" and Ginger, Posh, Scary, Sporty and Baby (I was in a nostalgic mood, okay?!) instead of doing homework in Norwegian/other suitable native language does to your brain...  
  
********  
  
Ash was busy wondering what was for dinner when he felt somebody lightly yank his arm, and turned to his left to face Gary. He was quite surprised when Gary interrupted his mental preparing for listening to his latest deeds with placing a hand over his lips and hold him back as the others walked on without noticing it. When they were out of hearing range he removed the hand from Ash's mouth.  
"I need to talk to you." He said mutely and looked once more at the back of their friends in front of them.  
"About what?" this didn't seem like the bragging he had waited for ever since they ran into Gary... well, had waited for and then forgotten for more interesting things. This seemed like a good time to tell about his latest deeds before Gary did, but before he got to start his rival spoke again.  
"My grandfather... and your mother."  
Ash looked blankly at him.  
  
"She loves me!"  
"She's a lesbian."  
"You're just jealous." Brock snorted, somehow forgetting the fact that Tracey currently was the one holding hands with a girl.  
"Brock, I'm sure even Ash noticed the two of them had to have something going on." he replied. May watched interested.  
"Who had something going on?"  
"Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy." Misty sighed.  
"But..."  
"Unless you noticed, they Jenny had her arm around Joy in a rather unnecessary way when they told us about the Pokèmon Center..."  
"AND Police Station." Brock pointed out, "And that doesn't have anything to say. She loves me!"   
"Brock..."  
"Misty! You are a girl yourself! Tell him that you girls do stuff like that! I've seen you..."  
"Yes, girls do it. To their GIRLFRIENDS!"  
Brock stopped and stared at her, and then he sped up, walking past the other ones.  
"Well, if you don't like the fact that girls finally are realizing that I am the dream man you can as well..." the rest lapsed into annoyed mumbling, and Tracey looked a bit worried.  
"Maybe we should just let him think she actually..." he started.  
"Oh, he'll get over it." Misty looked over her shoulder to discover that Ash and Gary had started the obligatory fight fifty meters behind them.  
"So anyway..." her voice drifted off as she realized that her friend had used the opportunity to wrap his arm around May's shoulders, and her face set into a nasty scowl as she glared at the older girl.  
  
"They do WHAT?!" Ash's brain was at the moment occupied with trying to sort out what Gary just had told him and didn't notice that his voice grew two octaves at the end of the 'what'. Gary silently nodded, and Ash stared at him, eyes wide open and mouth opening and closing like a Magikarp, "But she's.... and he's... it's like... but..."  
"I know that!"   
***Flashback***  
_"He is... doing things with Mrs. Ketchum?" he asked weakly, looking pleadingly at Tracey.  
"Yes, he is. I honestly thought you'd notice after last night."  
"I thought they were..."  
"Were what? Trying to move the couch with their teeth?"_  
***End flashback*  
**"Tracey told me."  
"But..."   
The thought of his mother doing things with Professor Oak was way too much for Ash's mind to consume at the moment, and he tried to focus on the fact that Tracey had told something like that to Gary before to himself... but... he groaned.  
"You..."  
"I am sure, Ash. I've been keeping and eye on things for the last week here..." he paused and looked at Ash, "And I am sure. They _are_ doing it."  
Ash tried to imagine his mother... married... married to Professor Oak... married to Professor Oak, living in his house, making him dinner, maybe getting a baby, and then he'd have a little brother... but Ash was about to turn fourteen and that was way too old for getting any little brother, and Professor Oak had children... _grown-up_ children... and then Gary would be the uncle of Ash's little brother... no, Ash's little brother would be _Gary's_ uncle...  
"We have to stop this." He said, almost scared over how calm his voice sounded. Gary nodded.  
"That was what I wanted. I don't..." he bit his tongue for almost saying that he didn't want to do it alone, "Tracey didn't really want to help me, he said that was a matter of theirs, not him, and May won't believe me when I say it..."  
"...and I really don't think Misty or Brock are going to like this either..."  
  
Elsewhere, James was busy wiping makeup away from his face.  
Officer Jenny was _not_ his favorite part to play. Especially not when it involved "getting under the skin of the eyeless twerp, make the rest of them trust you and then swipe Pikachu". James tended to like it better with those primitive yet often successive plans involving nets, pit-traps, rubber ball bazookas and electric proofed glass jars... not getting close to desperate, hormonal teenager boys.  
The worst part was his hair. The overuse of hairspray and other styling products were usually left for his partner to do, but when being the police woman, it was necessary to have the familiar spiky hairdo... he just didn't understand how Jesse survived having the hair she had.  
When he at last emerged from the bathroom he found her laying on the sofa, her head rested comfortably on one of her hands as the other one clicked the remote.  
"James, "she said when she saw him, "This will be our chance to power, money and eternal happiness."  
When he didn't reply she kicked his leg and sat up beside him, "And you don't need to sulk. He absolutely LOVED you!" she gleefully told him, but the only reply she got was:  
"If that had been certain others I wouldn't have minded at all..."  
"What?"  
James glared at her.  
"It is unfair! I don't want to seduce the horny guy!"  
"That isn't seduction! It's just..."  
"It's seduction!" he snapped back and sunk lower in his seat.  
"Well so if it is? It'll gain us Pikachu!"  
"Then why can't YOU do it?"  
"You make a better woman."  
"You really think so?" James quickly remembered what he was supposed to be complaining and stopped the smile from growing too wide, "And it's still unfair and I don't want to..."  
"James..."   
"Hmm?"  
"You DO want Pikachu, don't you?" his partner asked him sweetly, and he nodded eagerly.  
"THEN FOLLOW THE PLAN!"  
He cringed and looked meekly up at her.  
"But..."  
She glared, and he snatched the remote from her and turned over the channel, with the only result to be pushed to the floor as she jumped on him.  
After five minutes of rolling around on the floor and the only result of messing their hair up James glanced up to discover that the item of rivalry was in the possession of their third teammate, who was seated on the top of a bookshelf with the remote between his legs, happily watching "Bonanza".  
Jesse sat up as well, and walked over and delivered a swift kick to the furniture, sending both Meowth, the remote and a mini bust of Giovanni crashing to the floor.  
  
Delia giggled and handed Professor Oak his plate over the table, and then gave everybody else a motherly smile as she served them too.  
"Now, I hope you'll all enjoy it... It was Samuel here that made it, so I am sure it is delicious." She said and winked.  
"Oh Delia..." Professor Oak said with modesty, "You gave me all my instructions."  
And then they ate.  
And Misty, Brock, Tracey, May and Pikachu ate as well.  
And Ash and Gary merely stuck their forks into their food and exchanged a desperate look.  
Ash's mother had never referred to Professor Oak as Samuel before... heck, Ash didn't even know he had a first name...  
  
********  
  
I don't think I should do plots.... I think I'm better with pointless stories. Anyway, does anybody out there know any girls that have their arms around each other and still are only friends? Because I sure do not.  



	3. The 3rd installment

I think Brock is starting to get ooc now, but it was a bit hard to do this, since he never gets the girls anyway...  
And I still don't know any girls having their arms around each other and not being 'just friends'. Not that I know any girls having their arms around each other and being something more either... let's say I don't know any girls having their arms around each other all over. They say Norwegians are frigid, non-social and afraid of human contact... It might be true! (They also say that northern Norwegians are swearing, sex-centered drunkards (okay, the sex-centered part is probably just that we joke more about it when others does not). So... um... well... I don't drink...)  
  
********  
  
"... but who would steal him? I am positively sure that nobody out there wanted that flea-ridden canine..."  
"But if the only thing missing after the burglary was the Growlithe," Officer Jenny paused and scratched her trusty pokèmon behind its ears, "I regret to say that was what they wanted."  
Mrs. Morgan looked modestly worried, most of it probably caused by the fact that Jenny's Growlithe had been running all over the estate, and she had spent most of her grown-up life to prevent Growlithes to do just that. Her soon-to-be daughter in law did, however, looked a bit more suspicious.  
"Well..." mother shrugged, "It wasn't like we didn't want to get rid of it anyway."  
Officer Jenny looked instantly insulted, and Jessiebelle decided this was the time to speak.  
"But mother, your son adored his Growlithe..." she hinted.  
"Ah yes, excellent reasoned, Jessiebelle dear!" she exclaimed, "So when we find him again he sure won't stay unless we have it here! Oh Jenny, be sure to find him!"  
Jessiebelle barely resisted the urge to say something very unladylike to her fiancé's mother. James might've been nicer and more soft-hearted than his parents, but the missing ability to take hints or think other people might be trying to fool you was clearly genetic.  
  
"...oh, I want to be in that number..." Brock hummed happily as he helped Mrs. Ketchum making breakfast.  
"You sure are in a good mood today, Brock." She said with a smile.  
"Oh yes, Mrs. Ketchum, you see, there is a girl liking me!" he told her and blushed a bit.  
"Oh Brock, so wonderful!" she exclaimed, "I know how it is...." She winked, "I'm in love myself."  
"Really? Who is it?" Being lovestruck didn't really help Brock's memory.  
"That's a secret..." she paused a bit, "And don't you dare tell Ash about it!"  
He winked back (to the extend that Brock actually can wink).  
"Don't worry, I wont. He's so negative about things like that..."  
Delia sighed.  
"I know, and that worries me a bit. He's starting to grow up, but still, there's no interest in girls..." she looked concerned, "Brock, you're spending all your time with him.... Does he like boys?"  
  
Jesse looked at her partner, sleeping peacefully on his bed, Growly in his arms.  
"Meowth?"  
The pokèmon came running in as she softly spoke the word.  
"What?"  
"Will we ever get the Growlithe hairs out of the bedspread again?"  
"Probably not."  
She sighed annoyed. "Get him up. I'm hungry."  
  
"But Aaaaash...." Brock whined, and Misty swatted him over the head.  
"We are NOT going to visit the pokèmon center because you think Officer Jenny liked you!"  
"Pokèmon center AND Police station, and she DID like me!"  
"It'll make us be late, and I need to talk with Gary!" Ash snapped took his hand as Misty took the other, and they started hauling him down the road.   
"And I want to be with Tracey when I for once have the opportunity." Misty said, not noticing her best friend's last statement in her own desperate hope for that her excuse didn't sound too lame, and gave him a good yank which almost caused him to fall.  
"But..." Brock was brutally forced to go the way his friends wanted him to go.  
  
"So..."  
Gary tried to come up with a good idea, since Ash probably was not going to anytime soon.  
"We should... um..." this was harder than he'd thought.  
"If I have a little brother, he'd be your uncle..." Ash grimaced, and Gary paled. "Maybe if we...no..."  
"Or it could work to..."   
"You know, we could...  
They sighed simultaneously, and looked at Delia, who came walking up to the front door of Professor Oak's house carrying a basket covered with a piece of cloth.  
"Hi boys!" she chimed as she saw them, either ignoring or just not realizing their glum looks.  
"Hi mum..." Ash muttered and lifted his hand wearily at her.  
"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum... what are you doing here?" Gary said with the same enthusiasm.   
"I'm bringing your grandfather lunch."  
Ash and Gary exchanged a glance and winced.   
  
"Hello!"  
Brock's face lit up as he saw the slender form belonging to the female police officer appear on the road in front of him and he held out his hand.  
"Oh Brock!" she said with a shy smile and took the flowers he offered her.  
"I... um... didn't have the time to go to Viridian, so I picked them myself..." he muttered and blushed, not noticing that he'd never told her his name. Jenny smiled at him, then kissed his cheek and blushed as well.  
"They're gorgeous..." she muttered, but that was oblivious to Brock, who was still staring straight into blank air. Jenny sighed and grabbed hold of his arm, "Come on, let's go home to me."  
A very large and cheesy grin slowly spread in Brock's face.  
  
After spending thirty minutes watching Tracey do some sort of scientific thing and explaining everything he did for a very impressed May and only acknowledging Misty's presence with a nod when she entered, she was now officially sick of everything that could be defined as "friends with girlfriends" and had left the lab in search for either of her other male companions.  
The first one was sitting on the grassy hill outside Professor Oak's house with Gary, chewing on a clean ice-cream stick as Gary was still licking the top of his own. They were talking together silently.  
"What happened to you two?" she asked, not being able to hide her wry grin as the two of them jerked up, "Realizing that since the rest of your families are in love it would be a shame to break the tradition?" Two pair of brown eyes glared furiously at her.  
"That's none of _your_ business!" Ash snapped and threw the stick at her, barely missing her head. She scowled back and kicked his leg, but before Ash could jump to his feet Gary held him down and hissed something into his ear, and then turned to Misty.  
"Look, Mrs. Ketchum has ice cream inside if you want, and the sun out here is really bad for your skin." He said in a voice that told her to get lost. She snorted in reply.  
"Well, if you two lovebirds insist," Gary was now holding a hand over Ash's moth as well, and whispered something to him. She rolled here eyes.  
"Where's Brock?"  
"He was down there picking flowers twenty minutes ago." Ash told maliciously and pointed down the meadow at the end of the hill.  
"And then?"  
"He left.".  
"Well, he obviously isn't there anymore, so where did he go?!"  
"I think he said something about his Geodude needing to be in fighting fit..." Gary said, and Misty cursed under her breath.  
"What?"  
She looked back at them, both looking equally confused.  
"Ash, when was the last time Brock battled?"  
"Um..."  
  
When she minutes later arrived at the Pokèmon center she found Nurse Joy alone, and she obviously wasn't prepared for any visitors either, as she was resting her legs on the counter and watching re-runs of Ally McBeal.  
"Where is he?!"  
Joy didn't move her glance from the TV.  
"Hmm?"  
"Where is Brock?"  
"Who's Brock?"  
"The idiot that your girlfriend was flirting with last night!"  
This made her look at her... or rather stare at her.  
"He is NOT my girlfriend!"  
"Well, he's still... he?"  
Nurse Joy giggled nervously and rubbed the back of her head, "Oh... you see, my friend, she's so butch that sometimes we just joke around with that..."  
Misty sighed.  
"She's out there with my friend somewhere, and I need to... talk to him." She explained.  
"I don't know where she left... I think there was some illegal advertising for the mart in Viridian somewhere on Route 1 or something..." Joy said innocently.   
Misty sighed again and left.  
  
"I think I have an idea!" Gary announced.  
"Really?"  
  
"You know, Jen, I had a really great time with you..." Brock muttered and blushed a bit as they were standing outside the pokèmon center once again.  
"Oh... I like being with you, Brock..." James replied, thinking it was a bit cute how Brock kept blushing all the time, "In fact, I..." faking innocence he batted his eyelids and looked at the young man, "I'd really like to... um... maybe go see a movie, someday, or..."  
"A date?" Brock asked breathlessly, and he nodded. Brock looked ecstatic.  
"Wow! Oh oh- su... sure! Oh Jen, I'd love to!" he stuttered with the widest smile imaginable.  
With a slight giggle, James kissed his cheek and ran inside.  
  
Delia Ketchum was finding herself dancing giddily down the road, and stopped the senseless singing when her house came into view again. The smile remained, though, as she walked calmly into her garden and saw Mr. Mimie run to her.  
"Mime! Mr. Mime!" he gleefully said and handed her a red envelope, her name on the front and a pink heart sticker with golden edges sealing the back.  
  
When Jesse returned from bribing the kid giving away free potions on Route 1 to tell possible red-haired tomboys that Officer Jenny had been there earlier that day she found James arranging a bouquet with field flowers in a kitchen glass. When he noticed her he turned and smiled widely, holding it into her view.  
"Look Jess! He brought me flowers!"  
She smiled at him and nodded, and he left for the kitchen, Meowth and Growly tailing him. Her smiled turned a bit wistful as she sat down beside the flowers and took them in, remembering how things had been.  
Once, she used to tell everybody asking what to do for James on a date to get him flowers; and there had been days when James always carried roses. Half a year trying to get Ash Ketchum's Pikachu had more or less stopped that trend.  
But this plan wouldn't fail. She knew it wouldn't fail. And she would be able to tell men asking her for advice to get her best friend roses once again.  



	4. And what do you get when adding all seas...

Eevee has now officially seen girls with their arms around each other... sort off, anyway. I'd freak out if anybody did that to me...  
  
********  
  
"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?"  
Brock cringed and stared at the floor like a little boy caught red-handed in the cookie jar.  
"Um..."  
Misty glared at him and then whacked him over the head, "Now I have to find Officer Jenny and apologize for you and..."  
"But she LOVES me!"  
"... this is such a mess..."  
"Misty! She wanted to DATE me!"  
"...so embarrasing and WHAT?!"  
Brock only nodded with a big, happy smile.  
"She will DATE you?!" Brock grinned even wider.  
Misty stared. And stared. And stared.   
Brock might've been lovesick, but he wasn't dense enough not to take the chance to escape from the rest of the scolding.  
  
Delia stood still in her kitchen and stared at the sickening cute pink envelope in her hands, and didn't notice that Brock came running through the room saying something about needing to talk to Tracey.  
At last she moved her hands and ripped it open, to pull out a sheet in the same color as the wrapping and with a heavy scent of perfume, and scanned through it, a slight smile growing on her lips.  
"Hi mum!" Ash announced as he and Gary entered the room, looking way more cheerful that she'd seen either of them the last days, she noticed as she tried to hide the letter behind her back.  
"What's that?" Gary innocently asked, and Ash had suddenly moved behind her to snatch it away.  
"Oooh! Is it a love letter?"  
"Let me see!"  
Delia paled and yanked it out of her son's grip.  
"It's just something from the taxation authorities... now why don't you get some ice cream, or..."  
Ash and Gary just smiled sweetly up at her.  
"Later mum, we're gonna play catch, right Gary?"   
"Yeah!"  
"Bye!" he said, and they left the room, leaving a very confused Delia looking after her son skipping out with Gary as a apprehensive frown fell over her face.  
  
"TRACEY!"  
The glass fell to the floor and shattered as he jumped into the air with a squeak, to discover a panting and rather panicked looking Brock standing in the doorway.  
"Wha - what?" he asked when his heart started beating again, and the other boy just grinned like a madman.  
"I GOT A DATE!" he yelled.  
"You got a DATE?!"  
"YES!" Brock was on the verge of tears, "Finally, after all these years..." he stopped to breathe, and let out a light sob, "I'm gonna... I'm gonna..."  
Tracey warily stepped closer and put a hand on Brock's shoulder.  
"So...um... why did you want to speak with me?" he asked when Brock still hadn't finished what he had started saying, figuring out that it was something more than just showing of, mostly because Brock hadn't really shown all that much interest in him before.  
"I can't do this alone, I mean, it's my first time and all, and you has a girlfriend and knows about dating and..."  
The door was pushed open and Gary marched in with Ash in tow, both of them looking rather pleased with themselves.  
"Where's gramps?" Gary asked demandingly, and Tracey mutely pointed at the laboratory door, before impeding Ash from walking straight on the glass he'd dropped moments before.  
  
Meowth rubbed his temples. One thing was that he didn't do too well with pollen and already had suffered a minor headache from earlier that day, but having to listening to his partners planning James's date with Brock was not too pleasant, since both of them were squealing like schoolgirls.  
It pained him to see Growly yap along, obviously not paying attention to the fact that they planned to tie pink ribbons around his tail and ears.   
  
"Hi grampa!"  
"Hi Professor Oak!"  
"Hi boys!" he greeted Ash and Gary as they entered the room.  
"What are you doing?" Gary asked interested and looked at the plate in front of him.  
"I'm having dinner." His grandfather replied, looking slightly worried.  
"Cool!" Ash said, "You know what? Mum got a love letter!" he told him with a obliviousness of a five year old. Samuel felt his smile fade.  
"Really? From who?" He tried to keep his voice calm and almost succeed, but imagined seeing a smug grin on his grandson's face for a brief second.  
"I don't know." Ash said and looked at Gary who nodded slightly, "But I think it was a Gio-something..."  
Samuel pushed himself away from the table and raised up, ripping the napkin away from his collar.  
"I'll be outside with the Geodudes. Ash, tell your mother I want to speak with her later." He announced, leaving the room before noticing two boys high-five behind him.  
  
Ash wasn't in the best of moods when he was peering through the window of Professor Oak's living room later that night. The fact that his weight was balancing on an empty trash can didn't really help him any further, and neither that Gary kept on telling him to stay still. It was easy for Gary to say. At least his can was full...Another hiss from his just for the occasion ally made him balance his weight in a way that felt slightly safer and concentrated on the scene in front of him.  
His mother and Professor Oak were seated beside each other on Professor Oak's couch, and neither looked too good. Well, his mother looked a bit sad, and Professor Oak looked angry.  
"Really, Sam, I don't know why..."  
"Oh, so it was just a coincidence that he sent you a..."  
"Oh for god's sake, it's pervaded with Chanel ( 5!"  
"Yes, and that's..." Professor Oak stopped talking and took the letter from her and sniffed on it, before he gave it back, "What the hell is wrong with that bastard?"  
Delia gave him a hopeless look, and slumped down.  
"I don't know... maybe it isn't him at all, I don't see why he should bother after all these years... I mean, Ash doesn't have anything to do with him and...." Her voice trailed off and she wept into Professor Oak's shoulder, "What if it is some sick pervert stalking me?!" she wailed.   
Gary shifted nervously beside him.  
"We'll figure out something, honey." Professor Oak told his mother, and Ash scowled. Then, when his mother had stopped crying and Gary started looking panicked, Professor Oak started kissing her. Ash felt a very strong urge to kill something.   
He was about to suggest that they left when he discovered Professor Oak's hand starting to slid up Delia's skirt.  
And he screamed.  
Dimly, he heard that Gary did as well.  
And then the trash can tipped backwards.  
  
James was having too much fun on planing his upcoming date. He realized it when he was in the shower later, because he hadn't whined about it at all that day, and some childish part of him still told him to keep on sulking about having to seduce Brock, even if it did start being sort of fun...   
NO! He was NOT going to give in, he was NOT going to enjoy this... James wanted to get back on Jesse for doing this to him.  
Problem was only to do it so subtle that she didn't know that was what he was doing, because then she'd kill him.  
He sighed and stepped out, and stared into the mirror, wondering if Brock liked his hair.  
And then he shook the thoughts of and started combing it.  
  
"Ash!" He heard his mother's concerned voice and felt hands touch him and pull him up, and looked at her two faces in front of him.  
"Whaaa?"  
"Ash?! Ash, what happened?!"  
He finally managed to focus and sat up by himself and shook his head a couple of times before he looked at Gary, who was also sitting by now, and rubbing his head. Professor Oak looked at the litter spread on the ground.  
"We... um... we played catch."  
"Oh... " he noticed that his mother once again looked a bit worried.  
"Can you go home by yourself?" she asked and helped him to his feet.  
"Um... why?" he asked tentatively, and she shrugged.  
"I need to talk with Samuel here..."  
"Grampa!" Gary suddenly yelled with a tint of panic in his voice.  
"What?"  
"There's a Tauros on the run!"  
Professor Oak muttered something under his breath, and then yelled for Tracey. Nothing happened. After a few seconds he squinted his eyes.  
"You know, Gary, I can't see it anywhere, are you sure?"  
"I can't see it eithe..." Ash stopped talking when Gary stomped on his foot, but gave him a confused look.  
"There! It's about to run into the Magikarp pond!"  
"Oh...Tracey!" nobody came.  
"I think he's out with Brock..." Ash said, and Gary nodded. Professor Oak immediately left, and his mother sighed.  
"Well Ash, it seems like I'll be able to walk you home anyway."  
"That's great mum, because I...um... I think I broke my butt." He said and gave her his most innocent smile. She ruffled his hair, and looked Gary in the eyes, before she shrugged and started on her way home. 


	5. Um... yeah. My, what a chapter name.

So it only took me, what, three months…

********

"MEOWTH!"

The voice was accompanied by a paper fan, and after a painful thud and a slow slide down to the floor he opened his eyes to stare at an enraged looking Jesse. Bits of pulverized plastering and paint rained over him.

"Did you eat all the tuna?!"

He blinked twice, and realized that he was awake.

"What?"

"Where is the tuna, you stupid cat?"

"What are you gonna do with the tuna?"

"It was my mama's secret recipe…." Her eyes started to wobble.

"Um, Jess, you really don't have to…"

"…and she used to tell me it made her beautiful…"

"Was it that good?"

"Yes!" his partner's voice broke in a sob, "It was the best… the best…"

Meowth decided it was time to take pity, mostly because that if he didn't he could probably expect a new bash in the head. It wasn't like this was the first flaw in Jesse's story about her poor mother who only could feed her snow either.

"I'm sure it was a delicious meal."

His partner stiffened under his paw, and slowly looked up at him, eyes narrowed in a menacing glare.

"What?"

"Um…" Meowth realized that he somehow had insulted the secret recipe, but he had no idea about how.

"My mother's secret recipe was _not_ some sort of stupid MEAL!" she roared, and Meowth's brain panicked started to search for possible ways to escape, "It was the best face mask EVER!"

Misty was officially depressed. It was so unfair. So very frickin' goddamned unfair.

Tracey had a girlfriend.

Brock had a date with Officer Jenny.

Professor Oak was doing it with Ash's mum.

Even Ash seemed to get it on with Gary… okay, so neither of them actually were interested in anything but pokémon, but the amount of time they'd spent together since Ash returned had been a bit suspicious.

Only Misty was lonely.

Life sucked.

Couldn't at least _somebody_ care about her?!

She sighed. No, because the one she wanted to care about her sure did not.

"Okay, _that_ was a total fluke." Gary muttered and chucked his sisters paper pad over to the other side of the room, and Ash sighed.

"And I was sure that whoever that Giovanni guy was he must've been enough to make her… " his voice trailed off into a distressed sigh.

"_How_ sure are you about that?"

"Sure enough to know that she still has a shoebox filled with love-letters from him hidden under her bed."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, "Do you have any ideas what to do?" 

Gary silently shook his head.

"This is so sick… it's absurd… it's…"

"My little brother would be your uncle…"

That thought seemed to be especially scary for Ash, and Gary could hardly blame him, even if it seemed to become a mantra of his.

"We have to do _something_!" he exclaimed at last, desperately clutching his hand in his hair and pulled.

"Don't you think I know?!" Ash snapped, and threw himself backwards on the bed, staring into the ceiling.

"I don't want Mum to… do stuff with your…"

"Do you think I want it?!"

Ash turned his head to were Gary was seated and met his eyes.

"Do you think anybody will help us?"

The other boy silently shook his head.

"May doesn't know, and neither of your friends are interested. Are there anybody else?"

"I need something to eat…"

Gary sighed and waved a dismissing hand at him.

"I'll call you if I come up with something." 

Brock had decided to take out some of the suspense for his upcoming date by helping Mrs. Ketchum in the house, but since she was a neat freak herself the only thing he could do was to make cookies, something he had done for two hours now and would have continued with if it hadn't been for the tiny fact that he was out of flour and barely had enough sugar to sweeten a cup of coffee, so he did now sit at the table, a dreamy smile on his lips as he stared blankly into the air as Mr. Mimie happily munched away.

Officer Jenny… Brock really liked Officer Jenny. This one in particular… and she seemed to like him, too, at least enough to want to date him, and nobody had ever liked Brock enough to want to date him, and…

"Cookies!" Ash squealed as he entered and eagerly joined Mimie in devouring it.

Brock didn't bat an eyelid.

James looked down at the bowl in his partner's hands, sniffed, and then backed away.

"Don't be such a wuss!" she snapped and followed in his steps, raising her hands, bowl and all, threateningly.

"It'll make me stink!" 

"No it wont! Now come here and let me help…"  
"But…"

"James!"

"It makes me wanna puke! I don't want to!" he whimpered, before he made a mad dash for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. There was a loud bang as Jesse ran into it. It also sounded like the dreaded content of the bowl was spread out on the floor.

"I'm taking a shower!" he told her and locked the door, turned on the water and pretended that he didn't hear the angry shouts from the outside.

Tracey had a few moral dilemmas. 

One thing was that he didn't lie. Another was that he didn't have much to contribute with in helping Brock through a somewhat successful date with Officer Jenny. With two hours to drive to Viridian City, the closest he and May had been to an actual date had been a night they'd dined alone because the Professor had been away. And Brock obviously needed all the help he could get.

"Er…" he looked the young man in front of him up and down, "I think you should take a shower. You kinda smell like… er… cookies." Brock nodded.

"And…?"

"I guess you… um… should bring her flowers… and you need clothes…" Brock nodded again, but then a look of worry fell over him.

"Oh… I forgot… I only have…" he looked down at his standard travelling outfit, and Tracey scratched his head.

"I'd borrow you something, but you probably won't fit them… and certainly not any of Gary's clothes either…" His brow furrowed in thought.

"What are you watching?" Ash turned his head to the side and looked at Misty.

"'Legend of the Hidden City'." He replied and turned his attention back to the TV, but he heard her make a sound of disgust, "It's kinda fun when it's upside down. After a while your brain goes all weird." When she still looked doubtfully at him he attempted to shrug, but failed, "I'm bored."

"Oh." She replied and sat down beside him, "Do you mind if I join you?"

He shook his head, and she turned around, before laying down with her head hanging over the pillow and her feet slung over the back, her eyes fixed on the screen.

"You're right." She agreed after a while, "It _does_ make it kind of fun."

They both turned their attention to the stairs somebody came running down, and was met by Tracey with a look of determination and slight nervousness. He was halfway out of the door when he turned back and looked at them.

"What are you two doing?"

"Watching TV. What does it _look_ like we're doing?!" Misty snapped.

"Oh…" he looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn't. Instead he turned to Ash.

"Do you know were your mother is?"

"Yeah… I think she's talking to Professor Oak in the garden… " His voice was oddly strained, but Tracey looked relieved.

"Okay. If Brock looks for me, tell him I'll be back soon." Was all he replied before he ran out of the door, leaving Ash and Misty looking puzzled after him.

James left the bathroom after carefully looking around to be sure that Jesse wasn't waiting to ambush him, and was just starting to dress when she came bursting into his room, clamping a hand over his mouth and eagerly held a magazine up in front of his face.

"Take a look at this!" she giggled, and he obediently took it from her, sitting down and studying the skinny model without finding anything unusual about her.

"What?"  
"That!" she told him and pointed to the picture with a hint of exasperation. His eyes widened.

"Oh my God…"

"I _know_! It's _fashion_ now! We're pioneers! And he'll be…"

"Mush!" James ended it for her.

They grinned at each other.

"We'll take the black one." James decided.

"Definitely."

"It's weird that he didn't react when we did it with that outfit of yours, though … maybe he's gay…" he said and hoped he didn't sound too hopeful.

"I wouldn't bet on it. I looked like a drag queen with those glasses anyway…" she smiled at him, "But tonight, my dear, you'll be as foxy as never before. And Pikachu will finally be ours!"

Brock was just done toweling his hair when he heard a knock on the door.  
"Yeah?"  
"I've got something you can wear…" Tracey stepped inside with something black folded over his arm. He dropped it by the sink, making a cloud of dust rise.  
"That's…" Brock suddenly stopped, "What's that smell?" he asked and looked at the fabric.   
"I'm not really sure…" Tracey sniffed the air and then turned to open the window, "But it probably hasn't been used for years anyway." He picked it up and started beating the dust out of it, making both of them cough, "I think it was mice in the closet."

********

Now wasn't that pointless? Oh well… the story will come. Trust me, it will.


End file.
